Thursday, September 11, 2014

gratitude: day seven

i think it's no surprise that day seven of my gratitude challenge lands on a day on which i typically have trouble finding anything to be grateful for at all. i don't believe in coincidences. i think this is a message from someone special to me who the world lost 13 years ago today. he's telling me to stay positive and fight hard, the way he did when he was my basketball coach when i was 12.

today i am grateful for this gratitude challenge. i'm grateful for the reminder to find things to be grateful for, even on a momentously sad day like september 11.

i am grateful for the things in my life that still remind me of randy on a regular basis: seeing someone on the street who looks like him, spending time with his wife and daughters (which i don't do often), looking up at the freedom tower while walking around new york. last weekend, my first round of golf ever in my life was played at the course where my dad and randy's other friends donated a bench in his honor. i am grateful i finally got to see it and play the hole he loved so much. and when my dad stepped up to tee off on that hole, he drove his ball straight into a lake. "that's randy just saying hi, letting you know he's still here with you," i said.

i am grateful for everyone who reached out to me today, and every september 11 in years past. thank you for your kind words, texts, emails and calls. sometimes they make me even more sad. they make it feel more real in some way. sometimes i don't know how to react or reply to people who are doing the only thing they know how to make me feel loved and supported. so i just say thank you.

lastly, i am grateful to have known randy, even for such a short time. he was taken from this world too soon, but i'm so lucky that he had such a big impact on me and my family while he was alive. i'm lucky i got to hear his laugh and hear his booming voice cheering for me as i played field hockey in high school. his loss left a hole in so many lives and hearts. not a day goes by that i don't feel his loss, but today it is palpable.

my thoughts and prayers are with all those who perished 13 years ago today, their families, their friends and their communities. we can never forget because our lives will never be the same.


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