it's time to say goodbye

A dog's view of my desk at b5

my last report on my life told you i had been accepted into business school. nine months (and one company acquisition) later, i have made the plunge of cutting ties from my full time job and i'm ready to become a full time student after seven years in the work world.

today is my last day at b5media.

what's ahead of me? a few weeks of traveling, a couple weeks of getting my life sorted and business attire wardrobe filled out and then orientation and school, school, school until may 2014.

although i've had many months to ponder this change, i am still trying to wrap my head around the decisions i've made and what's to come. as i prepare to leave my desk for the last time, i have a vague feeling of "what have i gotten myself into?!?!"

one thing i know for sure. i won't miss this job. but i will miss all the people i work with. i will miss them with all my heart! i'm just grateful to have made a handful (it's a small company) of new friends who i can carry on with me to my next endeavor. the friends i've made at jobs past are some of my best friends in nyc, and their impact on my life has been immeasurable.

it's been fun b5. onwards and upwards.

thankful

thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year for many reasons -- not the least of which is that it's a holiday that actually encourages you to stop, take stock and be grateful for the things you have.

this year i feel like my life is bubbling over with happinesses. i have so much to be thankful for and everything is made all the better by looking back on recent thanksgivings and the state of my life then. three years ago i was newly unemployed. two years ago i was newly single (and still unemployed). last year i had just changed jobs but was optimistic. this year my job is the last thing on my mind.

in the past year -- scratch that -- in the past eight months everything has changed. sometimes, things can happen that fast or even faster. first, there was ginger, a dog i had always longed for who tipped my selfish city life on its head and taught me how to put other things before myself. then came shawn, a guy who was unlike all the rest: caring, thoughtful, funny, smart, successful and open to the possibility of love and commitment even when it's least expected. and, finally, just a few weeks ago i learned i had been accepted to columbia business school, which means i'll be a student again in august and this time next year i'll be in a completely different place once again.

when your life takes a dramatic shift it's usually for the worst. my broad sweeps of good luck have always followed with bad. although i'm hopeful that this time that won't be the case, i'm prepared just in case. and that won't stop me from being thankful today for what helped me get to where am i right now -- even if it all falls apart tomorrow.

so, in no particular order, here is a list of things i am thankful for this year, thanksgiving 2011: my family; ginger the cutest morkie in all the land; love; roommates; amazing friends near and far; professional mentors and all my colleagues who teach me and push me daily; early admission; doggie day care and wee wee pads (integral to my life with ginger); pie; jeggings and the health and happiness of everyone.

happy thanksgiving!

New Year, Updated Life

to celebrate 2011, i've taken some time to update my freelancer profile on mediabistro.com. this year was filled with so many amazing assignments, from interviewing InStyle managing editor ariel foxman, to meeting all the real housewives, chatting with vinny (from the jersey shore) on the phone for an hour, and launching my text messaging and dating column, textual healing. i also managed to score my first article in a national women's magazine. yes, most of the work i'm most proud of from 2010 came from crushable, which i'm proud to say i helped found and launch in february. (it is now in the very capable hands of editor meghan keane and deputy editor drew grant, and i help them out by overseeing biz dev and social media efforts for crushable and its sister sites thegloss.com and blisstree.com.) but, i'm proud of all my freelance work, too.

check it all out here. and here's to even more on the horizon.

happy new year!!

update

reading over the last post, i can't believe it's been seven months since i posted it. it is the first chapter of a book that has been cooking in my brain for years, but i have never completed -- or even written beyond those first few lines. the challenge is: where to go from there? that's a question that i have been struggling with, well, ever since i moved to new york.

i still don't know what is most important to me. i decided this year that i didn't want to be a reporter full-time any more. i have always and will always love to write, but working the way i was had sapped my will to write in my free time. i was spending so much time in front of the computer during the week (and on weekends) doing work, that when i wasn't working the last thing i wanted to do was sit at my computer and write more. that is the reason this blog has laid dormant for all this time.

relationship-wise, i have been single for the past year. i've met some guys that i have found interesting and fun, spent more time than i should have with my recent ex, and decided that online dating is not for me. writing a column on text messaging and dating has been really fun and enlightening, and i find inspiration for that from lots of unexpected places. finding a guy to love and support me has always been important to me, but i believe that things come to you when you least expect them, so i'm not looking.

the one thing i have not ever second guessed about my life is living in new york. yes, i have fantasies about picking up and living at the beach or the woods for a few months while i work on a book, buying a little dog and leasing a convertible and living someone else's life for a little bit. but those ideas are all temporary. i would always come back to the city.

so, as i tell the story of my journey here, what comes next? the many career moves and disappointments? the heartbreaks? the friendships that i've made and lost? we'll see.

prologue

I didn't come to New York wanting to be Carrie Bradshaw, although I know lots of girls do. Like Carrie, I wanted to be a writer, but I saw myself as more career-driven. I was interested in collecting bylines and beats, not labels or love. I was prepared for long workdays and late nights, working weekends to meet deadlines and sacrificing my personal life in the name of my career.

But when I landed my first job, which paid me $28,000 a year to answer phones for a top-tier editor at a business magazine, I realized my folly. At first, I hoped this time would be filled with freelancing and working on my blog, but within a few months I had fallen hopelessly in love with a reporter at the magazine, and my priorities changed just as quickly.

I eventually left magazine publishing to work for an Internet start up publication, a move I told myself was good for me and my career. At the time I thought that the magazine, and my first job, was not a waste because I had come out of it with a recognizable name on my resume and a future husband to boot. I lied to myself.

notice something different?

over the past few months, i have been extremely lax with updates on my blog, amanda in the city. although it's easy to blame my non-stop work on that other blog, this lapse has mainly been because i've been deciding what i want this space to look like in the future, and what i want to use it for. i have decided it's time for a major overhaul.

internet, it has been exactly four years since i moved to new york. thinking back over the bulk of my 20's, which i have spent in nyc, i can't even begin to comprehend everything that i've experienced and dealt with. for example, getting laid off, exactly one year ago. living through that experience, and continuing to work hard as a full-time freelancer while still looking for a full time job, has made me a stronger person and, in my opinion, a better writer. what's more, i am happier now than i have been in a long time.

with that in mind, i have taken some time to think about what i want from my career and my life moving forward. no matter where this crazy life takes me, i know that i have enjoyed my life as a blogger since i launched amanda in the city in september 2005. i want to use this space to relive those past experiences, expand on my memories -- both fond and otherwise -- and let others learn from my mistakes.

case in point: every day, i cover a media world that has changed drastically from the one i entered into as naive college grad four years ago. at the time, the gym in the building, an hour for lunch and three hours every week for gym time were standard issue perks. there were twice monthly reporters' lunches that i organized, where we would get free food and chat with editors, for no good reason. if i worked late, i got to take a town car home. i had a corporate card and expensed things like my tickets to fashion week and a $75 bouquet for every editorial staffer who had a baby. my boss would take me out for lunch often, where we would easily make our way through a bottle of wine. after-work drinks were common, too. this world of black town cars and bottomless expense accounts no longer exists in magazine publishing. i doubt we will ever see it again. but i lived it, and i took it for granted, along with everyone else who was there at the time.

as for men, i've been hurt more than once in these last few years. i have emerged with some pretty strong opinions and theories about the young, urban, professional male, which i won't hesitate to share with you here. i have been unlucky enough to have fallen in love with my share of immature men who, after insistently demanding i become their girlfriend, decide it's not me who they want to spend the rest of their lives with. i'm not sure why they reach this conclusion, but i'm hoping to figure it out eventually.

the new amanda in the city will be a combination of republished posts from my last blog, as well as updated stories and insights gained through hindsight and experience. it will focus on the media world, dating, love and living in new york city as a 20-something. feel free to follow along, leave comments or send me feedback -- i'd love to hear what you think about this new endeavor and the blog's new look.

xo
amanda